Forgiveness: Ought Against a Brother
Tonight lets deal with the things we hold against others: anger, wrath, resentment, grudges,
complaints, quarrels and bitterness; for when we hold anything at all against others, we have a
need to forgive: even when others have done nothing wrong.
“FORGIVE, IF YE HAVE OUGHT AGAINST ANY”
In our day to day lives, we are surrounded by people that fail to live up to our expectations;
because they tend to let us down, we end up getting discouraged and we start to blame them for
our problems. Whatever the reason though, when we hold something against them, we are
harboring un-forgiveness, and we need to let it go:
“And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which
is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” Mark 11:24-26 (aught: anything at all)
So whether we have been treated fairly or unfairly, that is not the question. For this aspect of
forgiveness deals with the sin in our hearts, rather than the way we were treated. So it doesn’t
really matter what others have done: for anything we hold against them is wrong; so rather than
justify our anger, resentment, and bitterness, we need to forgive and let it go; for the Lord has
forgiven everything he held against us, and he expects us to do the same:
“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s
sake hath forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:32
Because our hearts are easily deceived, we need to examine them carefully. When we do, and we
find the various “oughts” we hold against others:
Complaints against others
Grudges or resentments against others
Anger or wrath against others
Bitterness against others
Malice, clamor, hatred, and evil speaking against others
Anything at all against others
“Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.” Colossians 3:19
LETTING GO OF OUR COMPLAINTS AGAINST OTHERS
As the children of Israel wandered through the wilderness, they complained against Moses
and against God, and they started to blame them for their problems:
“And they journeyed from mount Hor by the way of the Red sea, to compass the land of Edom:
and the soul of the people was much discouraged because of the way. And the people spake
against God, and against Moses. Wherefore have ye brought us up out of Egypt to die in the
wilderness? For there is no bread, neither is there any water; and our soul loatheth this light
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bread. And the Lord sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much
people of Israel died. Therefore the people came to Moses, and said, we have sinned, for we have
spoken against the Lord, and against thee: pray unto the Lord, that he take away the serpents
from us. And Moses prayed for the people.” Numbers 21:4-7
The children of Israel became very discouraged with their circumstances and unhappy with their
lives; but rather than take responsibility for their misery, they put the blame on others; for they
weren’t just complaining about the food and water, but they were indignant with Moses, and they
were blaming him for their problems; for they were supposed to be in a land flowing with milk
and honey, but Moses had led them astray. Surely if they complained against him, things would
start to get better; but they didn’t, and the revelation finally came; “we have sinned, for we have
spoken against the Lord, and against thee.”
As the children of Israel wandered through the wilderness, the Lord was trying them and
humbling them to see if they would keep his commandments: just like he does with us! (Deut
8:1-6) Even though they were headed to the promised land, they began to lose all hope; but
rather than take responsibility for their own suffering, they convinced themselves that Moses was
the cause of their problems; and just like the children of Israel, we can feel the same way;
because we think others are responsible for our unhappiness we start to blame them for our
problems and we want to fix them. In our marriages, we reach a point where we don’t want to
take it any more; because we have a complaint against our spouse we end up loathing everything
about them, and we feel the need for change; for if we could only change our circumstances,
things would get much better. So we want a better husband or a better wife, for surely that would
make us happy; because we are discouraged and without hope, we feel the Lord will understand.
And he does, but out of his great love for us he wants us to understand; we don’t need to change
our circumstances, or change our spouse, we just need to humble our hearts; for the Lord wants
us to have the same revelation the children of Israel had: when we hold a complaint against
others, we too are walking in sin! And that our misery isn’t really caused by our circumstances,
but it comes from all the things we hold against one another and our hardened, unforgiving
hearts.
“Since Christ is so much superior, the Holy Spirit warns us to listen to him, to be careful to hear
his voice today and not let our hearts become set against him, as the people of Israel did. They
steeled themselves against his love and complained against him in the desert while he was
testing them. But God was patient with them forty years, though they tried his patience sorely; he
kept right on doing his mighty miracles for them to see. “But,” God says, I was very angry with
them, for their hearts were always looking somewhere else instead of up to me, and they never
found the paths I wanted them to follow.” Hebrews 3:7-13 LB
Just like the children of Israel, we can blame others for our problems and look everywhere but to
God; so until we find the path the Lord wants us to follow, we will end up miserable and
disillusioned and we can even hold it against God. So if we truly want to find rest to our souls,
we need to open our eyes to the ought in our hearts; then rather than justify our un-
forgiveness, we need to let go of all our quarrels and complaints that we hold against one
another:
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“Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another; if any man have a quarrel
(complaint) against any; even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.” Colossians 3:13
We all have a strong desire to be loved, and that often rules our lives; so when others fail to treat
us the way we like, we let our love fail and we justify our un-forgiveness. Rather than seeing our
need to forgive, we blame them for our problems, and we hold a complaint against them:
When they don’t live up to our expectations
When they let us down
When they embarrass us
When they make us jealous
When they don’t listen or understand
When they don’t care or appreciate us
When they use or manipulate us
When they are rude or disrespectful
When they mistreat others
When they try to control or take advantage of us
When they don’t give us our way
When they speak unkindly
When they don’t love us
When they don’t make us happy
When they don’t respect us
When they cause our misery
When they are not a good friend
When they are lazy, slothful, or inconsiderate
Even though we don’t want to give up our quarrels and complaints, it is for our OWN BENEFIT
that we do; for everything that happened to the Israelites was written for our example; for the
same destroyer that destroyed the children of Israel is alive and well today: and when we don’t
let go of the things we hold against one another, we give him a way to destroy our lives:
“Neither let us tempt Christ, as some of them tempted and were destroyed of serpents. Neither
murmur ye, (complain against) as some of them also murmured, and were destroyed of the
destroyer. Now all these things happened unto them for ensamples, and they are written for our
admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are come.” 1 Corinthians 10-11-12
The Lord wants to change our circumstances and make us happy, but first he wants to change our
hearts; for he wants us to lead us into all his promises and give us rest; but first, we need to let go
of our quarrels and complaints and quit blaming others for our problems!
LETTING GO OF OUR GRUDGES
When John the Baptist told Herod that it wasn’t proper to be married to his brother’s wife,
Herodias held a grudge against him, and it eventually cost him his life:
“For Herod himself had sent forth, and laid hold upon John, and bound him in prison for
Herodias’ sake, his brother Philips wife; for he had married her. For John had said unto Herod, It
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is not lawful for thee to have thy brother’s wife. Therefore Herodias had a quarrel (an inward
grudge) against him, and would have killed him; but she could not; For Herod feared John,
knowing that he was a just man.” Mark 6:17-20
When John the Baptist corrected Herod for committing adultery, his wife didn’t like the things
he said. From that time on, she held a grudge against him and she wanted to kill. Her husband
though, being a just man, stood in her way; but when the time was right, and opportunity came
along, so did the murder: “And when a convenient day was come, that Herod on his birthday
made a supper to his lord, high captains, and chief estates of Galilee; And when the daughter of
the said Herodias was come in, and danced, and pleased Herod and them that sat with him, the
King said unto the damsel, Ask of me whatsoever thou wilt, and I will give thee, unto half of my
kingdom.” Mark 6:21-25
When she asked her mother what to request, Herodias knew exactly what she wanted; for her
grudge had continued on, and she wanted the head of John the Baptist:
“And the king was exceeding sorry; yet for his oaths sake, and for the sakes which sat with him,
he would not reject her.” Mark 6:26
Like Herodias, many of us resent those that rebuke us or bring correction in our lives; because
we don’t like being told what to do, we hold a grudge against them in our hearts. Even though
we might tell others that everything is just fine, from that time on we set ourselves against them,
and live with un-forgiveness in our hearts:
“Thou shall not hate thy brother in thine heart; thou shalt in any wise rebuke him; thou shall in
any wise rebuke thy neighbor, and not suffer sin upon him. Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any
grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shall love thy neighbor as thyself: I am the
Lord.” Leviticus 19:17-18
Whatever the reason might be, if we’re holding a grudge against those that brought correction, or
with those that have rebuked us or challenged us we need to let it go. For when we don’t, we end
up paying a price:
“Grudge not one against another brethren, lest ye be condemned; Behold, the judge
standeth before the door.” James 5:9
LETTING GO OF OUR WRATH AND ANGER
Most of us have seen an explosive anger in action. Without warning, the fuse gets to short, and
the fireworks begin; but as quickly as it began, the display of wrath is over, and the anger starts
to subside. Damage is often done, so as Christians we need learn to master our temperaments and
put away our anger and wrath.
“He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he that rules his spirit better than he that
takes a city.” Proverbs 16:32
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On the other hand, there is also an anger that is much more subtle. It tends to be more silent than
explosive, and we can quietly hide it away. When we do, our anger becomes un-forgiveness
when we hold it against others, and we don’t want to let it go.
When the disciples saw a woman break an expensive alabaster box of ointment, and pour it on
Jesus head, they were moved with indignation: “For it might have been sold for more than three
hundred pence, and have been give to the poor. And they murmured against her.” Mark 14:5
Because her actions seemed to be wasteful, the disciples were filled with indignation. And like
the disciples, we can feel the same way. When others do things we don’t agree with, we can get
more and more upset; but when we continue to hold our anger against them, we are walking in
un-forgiveness and we have a need to forgive.
“Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: neither give place to
the devil.” Ephesians 4:26-27
Because anger is to strong of an emotion to suppress or ignore, we need to learn to “give it
place.” For when we don’t, we give Satan place, and we give him the advantage in our lives. So
whether our anger is hot and boiling, or passive and deeply hidden, we need to give it to the
Lord; for our place is to walk in forgiveness, and His place is to be wrathful and the one that
takes care of any vengeance:
“Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written,
Vengeance is mine; I will repay saith the Lord.” (Romans 12:19)
Because we are not capable of handling our wrath in a righteous manner, we need to leave all
wrath to God. So rather than justify our anger, and excuse our un-forgiveness, we need to let it
go:
“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let ever man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to
wrath; for the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.” James 1:19-20
Even though there is a righteous anger that is grieved and upset with sin, it is not a righteous
anger when we hold it against others or we refuse to let it go; so if we want to handle our anger
in a righteous manner, we need to be careful:
-not to direct our anger against others
-not to hold onto our anger
-not to judge or devalue others
-not to condemn
-not to speak against others
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-not to protest against others
-not to be malicious or do harm
-not to hate or kill with our hearts
-not to be bitter against others
-not to hold a grudge
-not to let our love fail
AUGHT AGAINST THEE
When we are angry or bitter, it is just like a blinding beam. So rather than go to those we hold
things against, and try to straighten them out, we just need to forgive and let the matter go; for
when we don’t, all of our efforts to “fix them” only make matters worse, and we both end up in
the ditch; but when we are the first to forgive, it becomes a different matter; for now the Bible
tells us to go to any brother that is holding something against us; for we are called to reconcile
with those are angry or bitter with us; or with those that have anything at all against us; and when
we go to them without anger in our hearts, we might even be of some help.
“Therefore (because your brother is in danger) if thou bring thy gift to the alter, and there
rememberest that thy brother has aught against thee; leave there thy gift before the altar, and go
thy way; first be reconciled to they brother, and then come and offer thy gift.” Matthew 5:23-24
THE CORRECT RESPONSE
Whether we agree or disagree with the things that have been done to us, that is not the issue. For
when we forgive and let the matter go, it doesn’t condone what others have done, it simply frees
our hearts. So whether we have hatred against our father and mother for the terrible way they
raised us; or we are holding resentment against the pastor of a church for offending; or we are
holding a complaint against those we work with for being rude and mean; or we are bitter against
God for letting a loved one die; that is not the question; for this is the time we need to examine
our own hearts; and when we do, if we find anything at all against others, we have a need to
forgive; so whether we are holding onto a grudge, or harboring feelings of wrath or anger; or
whether we are deeply bitter; whatever the aught might be: malice, hatred, grudges,
clamor: anything we hold against others is from un-forgiveness in our hearts and we need to let it
go.
“And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have aught against any: that your Father also which
is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” Mark 11:24-26
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WHEN WE HAVE A NEED TO FORGIVE, WE FIRST NEED TO PUT OFF OUR UN-
FORGIVENESS:
Put off being proud; stop focusing on the sins of others
Put off trust in ourselves; thinking we are more righteous
Put off a hardened heart
Put off judging others and thinking less of them
Put off condemning others or showing our strong disapproval
Put off making others pay for their sins
Put off our complaining against others; blaming them for our problems
Put off our setting our hearts against them
Put off being resentful
Put off our grudges
Put off rehearsing the matter over and over
Put off evil speaking
Put off our anger and wrath
Put off our malice and hatred
Put off our protest and clamor
Put off trying to straighten others out or trying to remove their beam
Put off our controlling ways
“But now ye also put off all these, anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy (speaking against) , filthy
communication out of your mouth.” Colossians 3:8
AFTER WE LET GO OF THE THINGS WE HOLD AGAINST OTHERS, WE NEED TO PUT
ON THE DEEDS AND ACTIONS OF FORGIVENESS; WALKING IN THE DESIRES OF
THE SPIRIT:
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Put on humility; focusing on our own sinful hearts
Put on trust in God
Put on prayer; fervently praying for those we held things against
Put on goodness; blessing those we have been against
Put on a tenderhearted
Put on kindness
Put on encouraging speech
Put on a heart that is for, rather than against
Put on speech that is for them, rather than against
Put on peace and pursue after it
Put on forbearance
and above all else, put on love.
“Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness,
humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; forbearing one another, and forgiving one
another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, do also so ye. And
above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfect-ness. And let the peace of God
rule in your hearts, to the which ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.” Colossians 3:13-
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SCRIPTURE GUIDE
Leviticus 19:17-18
Numbers 21:4-7
Mark 3:5
Mark 6:17-26
Mark 10-14
Mark 14:5
Luke 23:34
Romans 5:1-21
1 Corinthians 10:11-12
Ephesians 4:31-32
Ephesians 5:20
Colossians 3:8-19
2 Timothy 1:13
Hebrews 3:7-13
Hebrews 3:17-19
Hebrews 10:26
James 5:9
1 Peter 3:11